The loving space

• 24 April, 2021
• consciousness
• perspective
• mindfulness

The two most important components of any relationship - not just an intimate loving or sexual relationship - but all human relationships are space and a nurturing environment. All relationships are meta-physical in nature because they are conscious entities, always unique, always individual, and they always generate some kind of physical culture. The culture comes from the shared awareness and understanding of the relationship itself between the individuals in the relationship. Space is necessary for growth and evolution of both the relationship and individuals in that relationship, and the nurturing environment - the six of the Sacred Masculine Principle and the seven of the Sacred Feminine Principle - is necessary for integrity in the relationship.

This is just my personal observation but all too often people enter into a relationship with the wrong mindset, the wrong attitude and a laundry list of different expectations. So okay, let's think about this a bit. Think about how you expect someone to be able to meet your expectations the way in which it makes you happy and feel fulfilled. How do you expect them to be able to do this when you don't know them, they don't know you, and there's no relationship entity or shared conscious awareness for you both to move into and feed off? If none of these things exist in reality, then how can you possibly realistically expect someone else to be able to fulfill your desires and meet your needs?

Seriously.. what is wrong with you?

But see this is the way most people attempt to enter into a relationship. Dating is the social activity of people mainly trying and failing to create a loving relationship on the basis of online profiles and expectations creating dysfunctional relationship cycles through sequences of unrealistic choices and disappointing relationship experiences over and over and over again. People go into dating in judgmental mode, which is the first major mistake, then they get themselves into a kind of two person soap opera where their unrealistic choices and expectations meet reality. They create conflict and confusion, and when it doesn't work out, as it often doesn't, because one person sees sense and calls it off when they can't handle any more melodrama or abuse. Both walk away blaming the other person for not being able to read their minds and intuitively fulfill their unrealistic expectations.

This culture of soap opera melodrama doesn't just exist on dating websites, it also plays out in reality in relationships, marriages, families, workplaces, and even between friends. The internet and social media has yielded a significantly large and growing culture of idiocy among people. No need to go off to the country and find a village to find the village idiot. It's enough to go online and get onto social media and if you scroll for just a few minutes trust me, you will find an idiot and a shining example of human stupidity.

You subject other to self, not self to other

You see the issue with going through life on the basis of your Ego and sense of selfhood or personal identity is that fundamentally, you're living in conflict with your environment and in a potentially hostile and judgmental attitude to most other people you come into contact with. Sure you've got your comfort zone and personal space and territory. not to mention your privacy, and you've got your identity, but this is all coming with an enormous price to pay. You're not connected to who you rwally are or your humanity, you're not connected with your environmental reality. You're living in the past, on the pasis probably of what you've been taught or told by your parents and teachers years ago. All things being equal you're making your life a great deal harder, creating enormous amounts of suffering, fear and anxiety for yourself, walking round with some unrealistic beliefs, a delusional sense of reality and probably experiencing all kinds of conflicts with different people.

The key to life, and I'm referring to a simple stress free life, is to learn what your Ego actually is and how to use it. Your Ego is only the official version of you, for the Government and organizations. Think about when you need to use your CV or resume or when you get asked security questions. This is when you need your Ego. Otherwise just being yourself, your natural humanity, and your personal integrity is more than enough.

Lead by Following

In order to master people
One must speak as their servant;
In order to lead people
One must follow them.

Lao Tzu, 'Tao Te Ching'

Let me throw in another quote from the Tao Te Ching...

The great Tao flows everywhere, both to the right and to the left.
The ten thousand things depend upon it; it holds nothing back.
It fulfills its purpose silently and makes no claim.

It nourishes the ten thousand things,
And yet is not their lord.
It has no aim; it is very small.

The ten thousand things return to it,
Yet it is not their lord.
It is very great.

It does not show greatness,
And is therefore really great.

Lao Tzu, 'Tao Te Ching', chapter 34

I'm sharing these quotes with you because as some people keep observing, Qultura is remarkably similar to the eastern philosophy of Taoism. However as Qultura methodology is a complete methodology of mystical principles, and not a method anyone can follow, I sometimes have to quote the Tao Te Ching which is a book of sage advice by 6th century BC Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu.

The key to life is to create space for other people so that they can feel both comfortable and free when being around you, and also feed and nurture them with your humanity and by sharing your individual truth through narratives and stories. Everybody loves a good story and they also love it when they get a chance to talk about themselves and tell stories from their past experiences. This is how you connect to people. This is how you connect to yourself. This is how you develop healthy positive relationships with other people. You can call it the Yin Yang approach to personal relationships.

This is how we come together in the Qultura community. No beliefs. No meditation. No ideology. No politics. No religion. You got your methodology, a set of mystical principles on the website (just like this one), also in an e-book, you got a Community Message Board to interact with members of the community online, and you have access to regular meetings and dreamweaving activities to meet up in person. Much of what dreamweaving is really all about is seeking out and finding connections to your environment and other people. You see when you connect to other people through Qultura and just turn up, you always know what to do and what to talk about. It's commonly understood that everyone in the community is their own mystic, their own shaman, working through their respective individual past trauma and past karma in their own way. On the basis of that common or mutual understanding the community takes care of itself and nobody has to worry or stress out over it.

The exact same principles - mystical principles - apply to any human relationship, any relationship between human and any other living being - cat, dog, plant, tree, budgie, parrot, horse, and even wild animals.

Akashic power, trust and confidence

Let me give you the mystical principles and a simple dreamweaving exercise you can do on your own anytime you like. Maybe you're already familiar with the two core mystical principles.

• All existence is change, all existence is relationship.
• The environment creates, the individual (organism) grows.

The dreamweaving exercise is a simple one. You make a commitment to trusting the universe and the environment, and trusting others. Start by going outside and looking at the sky, facing east or west, and simply state "Show me what you can do." and really means it. Do it three times within say about ten minutes, to the sky, and speak the words out loud. However understand that you're making a commitment here to subject other to self, and not the other way round.

Then wait. Give it three or four days for the spell to take effect. What you should find is that after three or four days you will experience a shift in your conscious awareness and the environment will start responding to the flow of your conscious intent. The amount of friction and conflict between you and the environment will diminish, and you will gain access to akashic power. This is simple magic, and what you're doing is nurturing your environment and allowing the consciousness and energies to flow through your mind. After about a week you will notice a kind of pattern or rhythm going on all around you. Any anxiety or fear you previously experienced in the past will diminish.

The cycle will complete itself. The magic of course won't always work, but the mystical principle behind the spell is in alignment with the environment and has the backing of around 38 billion years of biological evolution. Also, in trusting the universe and others, you're also trusting yourself. Be yourself, and being yourself is your humanity and all your stuff. If you feed and nurture others, and serve humanity on principle, without any expectation, you will be surprised at just how easily you will connect to many other people.

Haunted by her side, it's the darkness in her eyes
That so intrigues me
But if my love is blind, then I don't want to see
She's a mystery to me
Night falls, I'm cast beneath her spell
Daylight comes, our heaven turns to hell
Am I left to burn, and burn eternally?
She's a mystery to me...

Roy Orbison, 'Mystery Girl'

Always remember to feed and nourish others in your relationships

This is where I'm going to wrap up this trilogy of blog posts - the other two being 'Integrity in relationships' and 'Karma in relationships'. You can get a summary of all three posts in the above song by Roy Orbison, which is a love song about space in the relationship. You see if you come into a relationship without any expectations but on the basis of your humanity and stuff, you're far more focussed on connections and actually feeding and nourishing the relationship entity and creating the environment and space which gives the relationship both its reality and integrity.

If you apply the mystical principles here what you need to focus on is giving control to the relationship entity itself, rather than trying to control each other and putting expectations on your partner. Trust your partner completely, give them space to be themselves in the relationship, accept them for who they really are, not what you want them to be. Next remember to feed and nurture your partner and appreciate the fact, day in, day out that they're choosing to develop a close, personal relationship with you. Be the space that allows them to switch between the relationship and their lives. This is what will keep you attractive in their eyes, up to and beyond when you lose your good looks? You know? That day when you look at yourself in the mirror and shout out to your partner "Honey, I think we need a new mirror. I think this one is faulty."