Choices

The basis for your choice making doesn't exist

Understand that any choice you have to make is essentially trauma. It's trauma because any serious choice you have to make in life disrupts the smooth flow of your life, it's unfolding of undulating cycles, takes you out of your natural state of mindfulness, and places you in a conflict situation. Any choice you have to face in life is very much like a pebble you throw into a pool of water, your life being the water. You get the splash, the realization that you have to make the choice. What happens after the splash after throwing a stone into water? Don't you get waves and ripples? You can take these waves and ripples as a good analogy for the thinking and consideration you have to do to make the choice and get back both the smooth flow of your life and your mindfulness.

You see you can only make a choice on the basis of your past experience. Any choice you make is done on the basis of memory. But see the past doesn't exist in reality. It only exists as a thought in your mind. You have been conditioned to deal with the familiar and the known, not the unfamiliar and the unknown, which is what much of what trauma is about. Any unfamiliar situation you find yourself in creates feelings of anxiety and even fear. You get in your car but your car won't start. A policeman turns up at your home and wants to speak to you. You reach for your wallet or keys but can't find them. All these experiences will put you on edge and create anxierty and fear.

So there's a conflict between your reality and what you assume or expect your reality to be, and this is where many of your choices start. Or you get an idea or a desire out of nowhere and decide to make a choice out of the blue. But that idea or desire is still coming out of memory, even though you think it's coming out of your imagination. It's still conception. Whatever you envisage is not reality, it's still your desire, your idea, your concept.

All choices arise out of trauma

Most people, in fact almost everybody, experience anxiety and even fear when they're put into a situation where they have to make choice in unfamiliar circumstances. Of course I'm not referring to the familiar, habitual, regular choices you make which are so familiar they're pretty much unconscious or subconscious choices. I'm assuming that you're not crippled with anxiety when getting out of bed, going through your morning routine, getting dressed, or the regular stuff you do on a daily, cyclical basis. You're not crippled with fear if you find yourself in an uncomfortable position, or you get something stuck between your teeth, and so on.

But when you need to make a choice in a new or unfamiliar situation, chances are you will experience anxiety or fear. This is because you know, and you odn't need me to explain to you that choices always come with consequences and outcomes. You know as well as I do that some of your choices won't work out. They won't turn out the way you expect them to, and some of the choices you make can land you in trouble or escalate a difficult situation making it much worse.

Therefore I'm going to help you out there. I understand that you don't know how to make choices in an unfamiliar situation. You have no way of knowing what a big choice is, you have no idea also when a small or significant choice can have major consequences. But see there are principles and laws when it comes to making choices and I'm going to share these laws and principles with you here.

Four cardinal choices of life

I'm going to give you four things you can always choose or make changes to so as to make pretty safe choices which are not going to come back and kick you up the backside. I'm giving you these on the basis of Four - the mystical principle of cardinal direction which you can check out by following the link if you want to further understand the mystical principle involved. You don't have to.

Personal integrity: The first choice you can fall back on is personal integrity. You can be 'real'. What I want to point out here that being good, being entitled, being deserving, having a right to something, none of these things will cut it when making a choice. You've got to be as equally real as the environment you're dealing with, the people you're dealing with, and this means walking your walk, talking your talk and actually living your truth. You never compromise on your personal integrity and you never, ever, ever put someone else in a situation where they are expected to serve you or please you unwillingly. This also means you not falling on your knees and grovelling to anyone else either. There's zero integrity in being a lackey, a slave or a useful idiot. Authority doesn't cut it, learn to deal in terms of personal integrity, trust, and truth.
Insight: The next choice or thing you can choose is insight. Do you get it or doesn't it matter to you? Are you living your life for yourself at the expense of others, or are you bringing light, warmth and humanity into other people's lives? How many times have you been blocked on social media? How many people have you personally put on anti-depressants or sent into therapy? Ever wondered if someone is up half the night because they have to deal with you the next day? How would you like to dwell on these thoughts? Or would you prefer that someone looks forward to meeting you or hearing from you? How would it be if other people trusted you because you inspire confidence in people around you? What I'm referring to here is the real currency of life, which isn't money, it isn't time, it's consciousness.
Environment: Another thing you can always change whenever you like is your environment. You are not a tree. You are not rooted to the same spoy and have dogs pissing on you frequently. You have legs. You can move around. But this is not just about saying goodbye and moving on. It's also about you creating your ashram, your asylum, your community and finding your people. It's also about taking care of your mental and physical health to the best of your capabilities. Environment is arbitary, and is as arbitrary as individual is.
Language: The other very important change or choice you can make is language. Choices can be powerful only when you make your language and how you express yourself powerful. Understand that making choices is always a magical activity, because you're expressing a desire or a thought out into an environment. It's fundamental dreamweaving which is why if you choose to get involved in dreamweaving the chances are you will learn to not just make more appropriate choices, but also learn when and how to make choices with regard to timing, environmental awareness and the energies you are projecting out there from your being.