Compulsive behaviour
You cannot fight or break a bad habit or addiction simply because all you have to work with is memory and your memory is affected by the past trauma and compulsive behaviour patterns. Usually when you try to fight or break any compulsion what invariably happens is that the compulsion 'escalates' and gets stronger and stronger so eventually you fail and end up back at the start - stuck with the compulsion.
It doesn't matter how the compulsive behaviour manifests, whether it's a bad habit, being abusive towards others, or an addiction to drugs, alcohol or food, the one thing you need to take into account is that you cannot do battle with the compulsion without also doing battle with yourself. You only have one memory, one mind, brain transplants are no longer possible, harsh austerities don't work. All you're doing is buying into a lot of struggling, misery, self-deprivation, beating yourself up and making the compulsive behaviour issue a lot bigger than it needs to be.
I'm putting this out there so some of you who are affected in any way by compulsive behaviour (including you couples who fight and argue with each other) might gain some insight into why you're doing what you're doing.
All trauma is environmental in nature
So let's deal with the key ingredient here which is trauma. It's probably the best starting point nobody is born abusive, or addictive, or compulsive, just as nobody is naturally intelligent or naturally as thick as two short planks. Intelligence is something you learn. We all start out the same way as newborn babies, ignorant, unaware but curious about what's going on around us. All babies and small children are naturally mindful, empathic and in touch with their humanity. Abuse and compulsive behaviour is always learned behaviour and the source is always environment, coming from someone or something else.
But what exactly is trauma?
Trauma is essentially physical force, which manifests in various forms such as shock, impact, death, separation, division, decline, decay, ageing, sickness, disease, injury, violence, and so on. Trauma is what starts off a karmic process. Karma is Sanskrit for 'physical action' and 'physical activity' asnd refers to the cycles of creativity and interaction which make up what is known as Natural Law.
You need some examples of how all this works? Okay. If you hit a bell with a hammer (trauma) it will always ring (karma). If you drop a stone into a body of water such as a lake or a pond (trauma) you always get a splash, then waves, then ripples. The Earth goes round the Sun in an orbit every year (karma) but when an asteroid collided with this planet, some 65 million years ago, the dinosaurs all died out (trauma). All human trauma works on the basis of the exact same universal principle.
Please understand here that no bell can ring itself, for the same reason a knife cannot cut itself, fire cannot burn itself, and light cannot illuminate light. To make the bell ring you have to hit it with a hammer, which from the perspective of the bell is trauma coming from the environment, i.e. something other than the bell itself. The exact same thing applies to water. water won't splash unless something hits its surface.
Memory and karma
For the exact same reason why a bell cannot ring all by itself and water cannot make itself splash, you cannot really overcome compulsive behaviour by fighting it, simply because you're living on the basis of memory. Memory is what you think and feel with and if your memory is distorted enough that you're struggling with compulsive behaviour, if you try to fight it or 'break the habit' all you're doing is digging yourself deeper and deeper into a hole.
You end up being no different from a dog chasing its own tail.
The force of your compulsive behaviour will always invariably match the effort you make to try and beat your compulsive behaviour. What you're doing is buying into an awful lot of misery, suffering, fear of failure, anxiety over relapsing. This is even without going into the destruction to your relationships and the misery, trauma and suffering you cause others.
Now take a step back here and think about this. Think of the bigger picture. Is this how you really want to live out your life?
Seriously, how many more fights? How many more apologies do you want to give? How many more excuses? How many more past relationships?
You need to leave your compulsions behind
This is what all this boils down to. I'm referring to a spiritual process. I'm also referring to reincarnation. Reincarnation is consciousness going into physical form over and over and over again. Reincarnation is not just life after death. That's just a tiny aspect of reincarnation. Reincarnation has a lot more to do with compulsive behaviour than it has with life after death.
Understand that you can only be as consciously aware as you can put into language - or 'incarnate' - or translate into direct action. You can only make your choices and decisions about the future on the basis of what you know and have already experienced in the past. You can only really understand life from your individual conscious perspective on life and your own past experiences. You don't have to believe what I'm writing here. Your choice. I'm not you. I don't live your life. But I'm writing as much from my own experience as much as my mystical knowledge - because in my past I have beaten compulsive behaviour and addiction so many times - drugs, amphetamines, alcohol, work, to name but a few examples.
Another thing you need to take into account is the whole reason why you're stuck in your compulsive or abusive behaviour patterns is because you're living primarily on the basis of memory, stuck in the past, not really living life, and so you're getting caught up in your own cycles of compulsive or abusive behaviour. All compulsive behaviour and abusive cycles of behaviour take place in cycles.
The quality of your life experience boils down to two things:
- How you are feeling about your life experience and memories.
- What is going through your mind.
But also how you stand and how you position yourself is important, because this determines on whether or not your perspective is centred or not. If you have been trained in some spiritual practice, for example Theravada (a form of Buddhism), Zen Buddhism, or Hatha yoga, you will know how to position yourself and from this you will also know how to 'centre' yourself and achieve mental and emotional equilibrium.
But these are not quick or easy processes. You can plant a tree, but it will take say half a century for a typical beech tree, with a life cycle of up to 350 years, to properly take root. Practices such as Vipassana (Theravada), yoga, or Zen are effective processes, but they are also long term disciplines. Again I write from experience. It took me over 20 years of Theravada practice following strict principles before I was able to properly root or ground myself.
Which brings us to dream weaving
Dream weaving is an alternative and is often far more direct and effective because the practice is based on language and ritual magic, and you develop a close, harmonious connection and relationship your environment through social interaction, drama, role play, and the 'weaving' together of different memories, thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, dreams, visions, and so on to create a new reality.
What makes it magical is that you are working to transform your past trauma into new karma and expressing that outwards into an environment. This is no different to the ringing of a bell and the splashing of water. You're following Natural Law and universal principles throughout. It's not quick and easy, because you still need to learn the mystical principles, Natural Law and understand the principles behind your environment. The simplest way of going about this is through Qultura methodology which I've spent the past 12-13 years developing.
But if you are serious about evolving past your compulsive behaviour patterns and finding ways of leaving your compulsive behaviour patterns, abuse, and addictions behind forever you're in the right place. The only barrier between learning enough to figure it all out, becoming familiar with the methodology and turning up to a workshop is your desire and willingness to take those steps.
Finally, it's not the case that the universe is working against you. Understand that the whole point of living in a universe is to have access to as many chances as you need to get your shit together.